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I didn't tell any of my
friends about my parents splitting
up when it first happened.
I think it was a way of pretending
that they were still together and
everything was OK.
If nobody outside our
family knew the truth,
then everyone would think otherwise.
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One time I stayed over at my dad's new apartment--but only
once.
When he moved out, he didn't move somewhere that had
an extra bedroom for his kids, or even a pull-out couch.
All of my other friends whose parents weren't together had
scheduled weekly dinners with their fathers and stayed over
at their dad's new houses every other weekend.
We had monthly dinners and I stayed over once.
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At the time of the separation I don't think
my dad realized how important it was for a teenage
girl to have a male role model present in her life.
Or maybe he had so much else on his mind that he
forgot about that major duty.
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Young people need to see how adults interact in a
romantic relationship--or any relationship, for that
matter. We imitate our parents without
even realizing it or necessarily wanting to.
Years later I finally started to spend time with
my dad on a regular basis.
I was the one who did all of the initiating.
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It's funny how sometimes the kid takes on more adult responsibility than the parent.
I held a grudge for a long time, but then I stopped.
It's OK to be mad, but sometimes you
just have to move on and learn to live with certain things.
Otherwise it just cuts you up inside.
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return to my house
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