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My brother left for college
10 months after my parents split up.
I watched him pack all of his stuff,
and then I snuck into the
other room and cried.
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I didn't want him to go away.
He was very good at playing mediator between
my parents during the rough times. Now that he
would be gone, I knew this job would fall
on my shoulders.
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Luckily my brother
and I always got along
very well, so I felt comfortable calling
him at college.
I think I called him a lot.
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Many years later, he told me how torn he felt leaving
home during that period. He felt terrible abandoning
the situation, but also relieved to "escape".
He told me how sad it made him when I would
call him at college crying.
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My brother had to take on some of the
fatherly-male responsibilities in my life.
He would check out my report card when it arrived in the mail.
He
taught me how to drive. And
he helped me move into my college dorm when it was my turn to go away to school.
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I liked that he was around to fill
those shoes, but I often wondered if he resented
having to take on the role that was supposed to be my father's.
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return to my house
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