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47 member responses |
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Tread Carefully
You need a lot more evidence than just a picture. It could have been porn, which is a different subject.
Catching someone cheating is a difficult thing to do and must be handled with care. The fact that you confronted him about it and he ignored you may be something, but it's not enough to take to your mom just yet. You'll have to tread lightly.
If he is cheating, your entire life will be shaken far more than it is right now. You'll need a support figure or group in your life. You'll also need to understand it won't be easy in the case of a divorce or even family counseling.
I say wait a bit longer, find out what you can and then take it to your mom.
--Posted by hislilarmybrat
04:42PM EST 07/02/08
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Voice Your Concern! It's Iportant.
It may cause your mom pain and it may stir things up, but it's important that you tell her what you saw and what you think. Just remember, you dont know for certain. What you saw could easily just be porn, you know. It would be better she finds out from you then someone else or see them on the street and she have to face the embarrassment alone and in the open.
I know it will be hard, but I know where you are. My dad was cheating on my mom for the longest time, but we dealt with it together and I kept her strong. If she hears it from you and you stand by her, you can help your mom through whatever comes.
There is no need to tell anyone but your mom until you both know for certain what is going on. That way you won't make either of your parents look bad.
--Posted by shameonme
11:39AM EST 07/02/08
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I would talk to your dad first. What he's doing isn't just going to affect your mom, it will affect your whole family. He is possibly breaking his vows to your mother, which could lead to turmoil in the marriage and possibly divorce.
All of these people telling you to just sit back and let it happen are wrong. You need to talk to your father and urge him to tell your mom about it if he is cheating, or at least to end his extramarital affair.
--Posted by caleidoscope_eyes
08:10AM EST 07/02/08
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Sticky Situation
If I were you I would try and gather more facts to support your theory, because right now it could be that your dad just likes porn verses him actually cheating. I would take it one step at a time before I jumped to a conclusion.
Talk to him. If he isn't being honest with you and you know it, tell him. Sometimes, as the child, you must be stern and forward with your parents. I'm not saying to interrogate your father, but I am saying step up how you talk to him.
Honestly, he probably lied about not knowing because he is embarrassed. But before you freak out, talk to him. Be straight with him. If that doesn't work, do a little detective work.
Whatever you do, do not alarm your mother! If there's nothing going on and you tell her there is, it will be ten times worse than you saying nothing.
Your mother probably already has an inclination about this, if he is cheating. Don't be surprised--most moms know these things. She probably knows or can feel something's different.
Until you get more facts I wouldn't tell anyone unless you are 100% sure. Be careful around family members that don't express the same inkling.
--Posted by mistery414
07:15AM EST 07/02/08
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Think Laterally
If you want to tell your mum, get harder evidence. Then, approach somone you trust before you work up the guts to talk to her.
One way of getting a handle on your dad's guilt is by pretending you are going to blackmail him. He most likely hasn't thought of this, so he'll be so surprised he'll react in a genuine way that you can gauge his innocence/guilt from.
I hope if you are right that you and your mum end up okay.
--Posted by kemetic_k9
03:10PM EST 07/01/08
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Find Out Facts
Instead of telling anyone, find out more facts. Sneak his phone into your room and try to find an unfamilar name. Or, show your mom the picture of the lady and see what she says.
--Posted by jonasbabe519
02:02PM EST 07/01/08
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Trust Anyone?
This must be something of great concern to you, especially because you know that if something is said nothing will ever be the same, and change isn't always bad, especially if it's for the best, right?
Well my advice would be to ask him, and if he seems hesitant, tell him that if he isn't beng honest that you're going to tell someone, and not necessarily your mom, but maybe someone close to you that you trust, such as an aunt who can help you tell your mom, or help you to see if he's acting weird around the rest of your family. This way, your mom won't get all panicked all of a sudden. It isn't something that should be kept a secret. This is my advice to you, and I hope the it helps.
--Posted by longingtogetaway
07:08PM EST 06/30/08
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