| join now | shop | freebies & contests | help
     gURL.com  the Web    web search powered by Yahoo!


SHOUT OUT BOARDS

YOUR ROOM


HELP ME HEATHER

SEX ED BLOG



gURL GAMES

QUIZZES



COMIX

PHOTOS



POLLS

VIDEO



BODY IMAGE

SEX

  you are here  >>> REACT > advice gURL > friends  
  related topics  >>>  friends & family    

 

what's advice gURL?

i'm falling for my best friend

my friend dates boys i like

my best friend is bisexual

i'm christian but my friend has no idea who god is

my friend has been drinking and doing lots of drugs

i just moved and i have no life

my friend is homophobic.

i told my friend she's fat

my friends think my boyfriend is ugly

how can i show him that he's being racist?

i am a perpetual liar...

my mom uses me to get closer to my sister...

my friend is a freeloader...

she's conceited and it's driving me nuts...

her singing voice sucks...

my two best friends don't get along

how do i stand up to a "mean girl"?

My friend is the biggest flirt.

my friend is the biggest flirt.

i saw my friend's bf cheating on her...

i don't want to share clothes...

my friend uses her ADD as an excuse

my friend's stealing my stuff

me and my best friend have been drifting apart...

My friend is competing with me

my best friend has a new best friend

my friends tease me for being skinny

my friend thinks i'm the girl of his dreams

both sides want me to choose between them

my two closest friends just started going out with each other

all my friend talks about is her new guy

my friend's mom keeps interfering in our business

my friend makes rude comments about my weight

my friend's a perfectionist

my friends are playing tug-of-war with me!

i want people to stop making fun of me...

she's saying things behind my back...

cheap and thoughtful bday present ideas?

i feel like i'm losing my best friend...

my friend's step-dad just died...

i think she's interested in me...

my best friend's mom hates me.

my friend is very homophobic.

my best friend likes my ex-boyfriend.

my best friend ignores me when she has a boyfriend.

i called my friend 'nasty' for not using a condom.

my best friend is in love with a complete loser.

what makes a good best friend?

my best friend is slowly changing.

my friend is constantly putting me down.

i get upset when i see my crush and my best friend together.

my best friend's mom thinks i'm a TOTAL druggie!

my best friend chose her boyfriend over me.

none of my friends take me seriously.

my best friend slept with my other best friend's boyfriend.

I'm noticing annoying things about my best friend that never used to be annoying before.

i don't think i'll have any friends when i go back to school

i don't trust my best friend's boyfriend.

i told my friend i'm bisexual; now she's acting different around me.

i received an email from an old friend who hasn't spoken to me in years.

i'm starting to like my friend but he's gay. what should i do?

i like this guy, but now my best friend feels like a third wheel.

my friend is extremely clingy. how do i get her to leave me alone?

my best friend went off to college and i feel like she doesn't care about our friendship anymore.

i'm afraid to tell my friends i'm bisexual. what should i do?

my best friend smokes weed every day. i'm worried, but she won't listen.

my best friend wants to read my diary. how do i keep my private writing private?


My friend is very homophobic. Other than that she is a very good person, but I just can't stand being around her when she says prejudiced things. How do I make her see that her views are wrong? She won't even sit down long enough for me and my other friends to talk to her about it. I was ignoring her opinions on the subject until a while ago our principal announced that someone ripped down the GSA (gay/ straight alliance) posters, and she told me afterwards that she did it. I don't just want to ignore her; I want to put a stop to her prejudiced views, please help.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button



 

    
    
     Hey, well put it like this, you cannot stop how she feels. I think maybe you should tell her that you guys need to talk because something like this MAY ruin your friendship. Tell her you have no problem with her opinion, but the things she does are not necessary and that you think it's disrespectful. If she is a real friend, then she will understand.
    --Posted by RocCityzMa21
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04


    
    
     Well, I think we've all had some sort of prejudice in our lives, but maybe your friend was brought up in a home where her parents didn't approve of homosexuals. Try to figure out why she won't be more open-minded about things like that, then see if you can change her view of things, maybe give her a different perspective of things, good luck!
    --Posted by ILuvTheRain
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04


    
    
     First, don't try to change her views, that's how she feels and her feelings are important. What you need to do is let her know that when she makes homophobic comments it may be hurting someone. Tell her that she is free to feel however she wants, but ripping down posters and making derogatory comments is wrong. If she still doesn't listen, use the example that I use. Tell her that being homophobic is as bad as being racist. Good Luck!!!
    --Posted by ystreehugger
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04


    
    
     Well I think that you need to try to explain to your friend that although everyone has a right to their own beliefs everyone deserves respect. She doesn't have to love homosexuals, just respect them and treat them how she would like to be treated.
    --Posted by prinsesmimi
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04


    
    
     Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would let your school counselor set up a private meeting for just you and your friend, so that she knows you won't turn her in. Make sure that she is willing to listen to what you have to say, and when she is, let her know your views. Be firm, but don't cuss or be too pressing.
    --Posted by babybombshell
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04



    
    
     Well, sometimes you can't change a person's opinion, but you absolutely must stop her from doing stupid, irresponsible things like tearing down those posters. You can tell her that even though she may not agree with gays, it's actually against the law to judge someone based on their sexual preferences, and that what she's doing is hurting people. Hopefully the idea that she's hurting someone will override her hatred of gays.
    --Posted by nanalovesbanana
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04


    
    
     Well, if she won't listen to you, then you have to show her. If you are comfortable with gays then why don't you try joining the gay/straight alliance? Maybe she will notice how unfair she is being if you and your friends join and come up with good arguments against her prejudices? Or you could ask her, "If I were gay then would you still be friends with me?" and see how she reacts. Then explain to her how unfair she is being. If she is a true friend she will listen.
    --Posted by CAMck
    10:31AM EST 03/30/04

You must be a gURL member to post. Not a gURL member? Join now! (It's free!)



email this feature to a friend:
IM this feature to a friend (AIM only):
tell us what you think of this feature.

  CONNECT EXPLORE gURL.com BY TOPIC ABOUT gURL  
 
shout out boards
gURL newsletter


being yourself
beliefs
body image
brainylicious
dating
d.i.y.
fashion & style
friends & family
health
music, movies & media
school & careers
sex
sports
sucky emotions

contact us
what is gURL?
advertise on gURL
privacy policy
terms of service
help

 
  ADVERTISEMENT

   
   Also... Get your horoscope mailed to you every day!
   Sign up for gURL and Astrology.com's daily newsletter.

 

© iVillage Inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.