I have been dating my boyfriend for five months. Unfortunately, his best friend is a girl. They are really close because they have known each other forever. To make matters worse, he used to have a crush on her.
I confronted him a couple of times, and he made it clear that they are just friends and nothing more. But I am still paranoid and completely uncomfortable with their relationship.
Am I thinking too much? Or is this normal? Is there anything I can do to make myself feel better?
Don't Worry
I was in the exact same situation and have been with my boyfriend for 12 months! Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him what part of their relationship you are uncomfortable with and suggest what he could do differently to help.
Maybe you could all go somewhere together once in a while or get her cell phone number and/or email and talk to her. Try to be her friend too so you don't feel so excluded and jealous of her.
--Posted by xxjesi-starxx 03:13PM EST 03/26/08
Be observant
Observe them when they are together. True friends will always act normal, but if he shows any kind of flirtation towards her or vice versa...then you need to act upon it.
--Posted by anna_1404 09:01AM EST 03/26/08
Check it Out
That's risky. I would definitely see what's going on. See if they are secretly flirting or something. I know how you feel. --Posted by prettylyrics 06:48PM EST 03/24/08
For me, trust is the key to a succesful relationship. Not trusting him might cause some frustration, and will probably cause conflict between the two of you--especially if you keep worrying and confronting him about it. He might just get fed up.
My best friend is a guy, and there is a reason we're just friends. We don't see each other as more than friends. Just remember that he's with you and not her. --Posted by pink_grafitti 04:58PM EST 03/24/08
Look...
I understand how you feel. Did you tell him how their relationship makes you feel? Is he an understanding person? If you love him, try and stick with it. --Posted by candism 12:58PM EST 03/24/08
Trust Your Instincts
I was in the exact same situation. My boyfriend and I broke up for a little while and during that time I found a conversation between them saved on his computer. Turns out, the girl didn't like him at all, she had a "fianc? she just liked him swooning over her because she had low self-esteem. Before me he liked her and then after me he liked her again. While we were together before that though, I said I knew he must've liked her and they were both calling me crazy. We got back together and she stopped talking to him. So just be careful. He doesn't need a best friend who's a girl if he has a girlfriend anyway. --Posted by pixieassassin 08:31AM EST 03/24/08
Give him some slack
He has told you that he used to have a crush on her. Used too. You have told him your concerns. He has tried to make you understand.
It's normal to be a slight bit worried. Give him some slack. Trust that you have got a great guy as a boyfriend. And trust what he says. Has he given you reason not to? If he has not -- why choke him? --Posted by tessa1985 09:09PM EST 03/23/08
THE OTHER GIRL
You have to trust your intuition... if you seem too jealous he'll get turned off and think you're the type to be suspicious of ever girl he encounters. I say befriend her -- it establishes a trust and some boundaries? plus she'll be more likely to tell you if he's acting shady.
If he still has feelings for her, that's something he can't help. As long as he behaves himself and doesn't act upon it, then he's being loyal to you. But if you find out he is flirting with her or anything further, then you and I both know that you deserve someone who can be loyal to only you. --Posted by neonzombie 07:07PM EST 03/22/08
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