I just lost my best friend. She has been dating this guy for over a year, but he's a total jerk. He calls her stupid, he cheated on her and he never calls her. And he's also really mean to me.
This weekend, I went to her house and he came over. He started calling me a slut and a whore--and she did nothing. I told her I couldn't be friends with someone who doesn't respect me enough to tell her boyfriend to stop. I told her that she would have to choose between me and him...she chose him.
I don't know what to do. She has been my best friend for so long (five years). Should I apologize and forgive her? Or should I stand my ground?
Just stay her friend. She may need your help, or some advice. She may need you, just like you need her. But what ever you do, stand your ground! --Posted by cesly 06:45PM EST 02/14/07
What To Do
You need to sit down and really TALK to your friend. Don't lose your temper, be mean, or insulting. Just firmly lay down what you need to say.
Let her know that you mean a lot to her and that what her boyfriend is doing is WRONG. She needs to know that if he really loved her, he would be respecting to her and you.
Don't let go of your friendship over something stupid like a boy. All you can do right now, is be a good friend and talk to her. Let her know you're on her side and that you care for her. --Posted by babypixie_gurl 04:49PM EST 02/14/07
Don't Give Up on Her Yet
First of all, I'd try not to take her actions too personally. It's one of the most hurtful things to be rejected by a good friend. But a lot of times a girl will become enamored and blinded by a guy and they forget the importance of friends.
I just waited for the relationship to die out with her guy with my friend. But if her boyfriend is being abusive in any way then you should sit her down and have a one-on-one conversation with her about how you're worried about her because of how he treats her.
And of course tell her that you're always there for her if she needs you. --Posted by lilith85 03:05AM EST 02/14/07
A Similar Situation.
What you need to do is talk to her. Say "Can't we make an agreement where you dedicate one day to hanging out with me?" That's what my friend and I did.
If you two make that agreement, and she forgets, remind her. If she doesn't want to do that, if she doesn't want to make things better, then that's her own fault. The most you can do is move on. --Posted by xxxddrgurlxxx 08:23PM EST 02/12/07
Stay in Contact with Her
To be honest with you, I don't think she is going to realize what she has done, for now. It seems like he has a lot of control over her. I think she will come back to you once HE breaks up with HER.
It doesn't seem like she has enough strength to stand up to him, either that or she's afraid. Maybe you can talk to someone about it, her parents or her older siblings, but if she thinks she's very much in love with him, chances are she wont listen to anyone.
Don't leave her on her own though, keep in contact with her. Just let her know that you two have been best friends longer than they have been dating and that its not right for him to treat her that way. --Posted by kittydreamy 01:53PM EST 02/12/07
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