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  you are here  >>> FIND OUT > help me heather > dating  
  related topics  >>>  dating  |  sex    

 


 
  Dear Heather,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three months now, and the ol' making out routine has grown slightly dull. The problem is we're both against premarital sex. How can I be more intimate with him without resorting to sex (vaginal, oral or anal)?

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Hi.

I'm assuming from your question that you and your boyfriend have done "non-sexual" stuff like kissing and caressing, and now you've hit the wall of boredom because you can go no further. Sounds like it's time to explore some other ways to be emotionally and physically intimate.

What "intimate" means, however, varies from person to person. For example, simple companionship may be high on your list. Maybe you like just being around him even when you are doing your homework, listening to music or reading a magazine. Or maybe you feel closer when there's a lot of talking and sharing of thoughts.

Perhaps he likes playing "human furniture," a way of cuddling in which one person (or people take turns) holding the other in ways that feel relaxing.

Some people like reading to each other. Hearing another's voice meant only for you makes many people feel special and cared for (remember when you were a kid?).

I've put forth just a few ideas here, but the possibilities are many. It depends on what feels meaningful and fulfilling to each of you. Talk to your boyfriend and see if he has any ideas. Discuss what emotional and physical intimacy means to each of you and see if you can find a satisfactory groove.

Take care.

 
   
 
 

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