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  you are here  >>> FIND OUT > help me heather > dating  
 


 
  Dear Heather,

My boyfriend wants to marry me after high school. We've been dating for two years and I am positive that he is the one. I know I want to be with him forever, but I don't know how being married will affect me in college. What should I do?


 
 
 
Hi.

A recent Census report shows that more and more students are going to college while married, but being a married student can come with certain stresses.

Married students often have difficulty scheduling time with their spouses and may not have enough time to engage in the kind of social activities that they used to do before college and marriage. Multiply the scheduling conflicts if both people are students.

Some married people have a bit more trouble adjusting to college life, as well. They may have a hard time finding the motivation to study due to distractions at home. They may also find it difficult to feel a sense of connection with the college, the professors or other students, particularly if the couple lives off campus.

These issues do not necessarily have to jeopardize your marriage or your success in college, but you may need to make a special effort to ensure that your school and home life get enough attention. If your boyfriend is generally a supportive person, it may be easier for you to balance both areas of your life. The support of your spouse and family will make a big difference.

Support from the college is key, too. Many schools are acknowledging the growing number of non-traditional students--including recently married undergrads and older students who are married and returning to school. They are aware of the special challenges these students face and many schools have more flexible programs. Some colleges even offer "married housing" that makes it easier for married students to be a part of campus life.

If you decide to take the plunge and get married after high school, you may want to look for a college that can accommodate your needs. Counseling or workshops that help students like you find constructive ways to manage school-related stress can also help.

Take care.

 
   
 
 

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