Not feeling much with partners can have to do with how much we're attracted to them. If you do feel detached, or not that attracted to him, then that could account for the lack of feeling during sex. It could be that this is not the guy for you. If this is the case, finding someone that you're truly attracted to and aroused by can make a difference.

How you came to have sex could also have an impact. For example, if you felt pressure to have sex, but were not completely ready for it, you may find yourself simply going through the motions. If this is the case, think about declaring a moratorium on sex until you feel you're ready to enjoy it.

I'm not sure what your background is, but if you were brought up in a household where sex was considered a bad and forbidden thing--an extremely religious background maybe--then you may not be allowing yourself to fully relax during sex. You may have to work with yourself emotionally to accept sex as okay.

What I'm not sure about is whether you don't feel anything at all even when you're masturbating alone. That may present some of the same issues. For example, coming from a household that considered sex a bad thing would also mean that you may have guilt about masturbation, too. If you haven't tried exploring your body alone, you might want to. This way you can pinpoint exactly what gives you pleasure, and share that information with your partner the next time you are intimate.

Try to be patient with yourself.

Take care.